Suffering and the Gospel

I don’t always know whether or not at 29 if I’ve suffered “enough” to write about suffering and the Gospel. At the recommendation of several people (including one of the board members at the school which voted to have me resign), I am reading some Henri Nouwen on my Kindle. In his book, Turning My Mourning Into Dancing, he writes:

Suffering invites us to place our hurts in larger hands. In Christ we see God suffering-for us. And calling us to share in God’s suffering love for a hurting world. The small and even overpowering pains of our lives are intimately connected with the greater pains of Christ. Our daily sorrows are anchored in a greater sorrow and therefore a larger hope. Absolutely nothing in our lives lies outside the realm of God’s judgment and mercy.

Injustices and Uniforms

From the time I was a small child, I’ve worn a uniform. Not a school uniform, not a uniform on a sports team. Ok, so I *did* wear a physical uniform all ten (yes, ten) years of marching band–four in high school for Hazelwood East HS in St. Louis and six during my undergrad at Missouri State (formerly Southwest Missouri State).

The uniform I’ve worn is that of a conservative Christian. It’s not as nice-looking as it once was. It’s worn in the knees and I think the shirt is a bit tattered. It’s still recognizable, though. I made it well past the age of 21 before I got drunk or kissed anyone. (I have yet to do both at the same time.)

I’ve never dated.

I made it well past 25 before I even *tried* to smoke. (I don’t care for it…except for hookah. Hookah is amazing.)

I’ve carried a Bible to school since the fourth grade and to church since I was too young to recall.

And I’ve believed that God, through the words of Scripture, has the final say on what I do with my body in my spare time. I’ve spent a great deal of time on telling others through this blog about the good news of Christ and the importance of repentance and the forgiveness of sins in Christ.

However, for some, this is not enough.

What to say?

There is a price for Gospel honesty. It’s a rather steep one.

Before I go on, I want to define “Gospel honesty.” I’m using the phrase to indicate honesty about one’s sin and the redemption of Christ through His blood on the cross, which takes the reality of God’s grace and amplifies it to the world without shame or reservation since Christ has, indeed, died for me…for all who believe. The Gospel allows me to be honest about what tempts me because my Savior has paid the price for my shame.

New Look at the Blog

So…what does anyone/everyone think about the blog? I think it’s an easier to read interface, but it still features the wonderful banner designed by Aaron Gardner, fellow blogger at A Great Work. Couldn’t really give that up…it’s awesome.

After a Three-Day Weekend

One of my systematics professors was out of town at ETS and I didn’t have to teach because I did overtime at the school this past week getting ready for the Fall Concert, so I was able to take off on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  I actually took a sabbath on those days and relaxed.

I know a sabbath is supposed to be exactly that, but I still feel guilty that I didn’t get all of my laundry done. Or my room cleaned. Or dishes done. Or much of anything, really.

I tend not to ever really take a break. I tend to always have something else to do. And to not be doing something is basically being lazy. This is, after all, the way I was raised. How do I know when to work hard and when to shrug it off? My culture, sub-culture, and disposition do not really provide me with answers.

Not sure if I’m really rested from my sabbath…but I’m no worse for the wear, either.

Temptation and Consequence

Blogger Tim Challies wrote a great piece on temptation. I recommend you read it.

I had an unusual and unexpected experience on Sunday—one that struck me as rather significant. I have been doing quite a bit of preaching at Grace Fellowship Church and elsewhere and knew that Sunday marked the last time I would have to prepare a fresh sermon until the end of the calendar year. Somehow this made me feel like I would be crossing a finish line when the service came to a close. It was a milestone I was looking forward to as it will allow me to focus on some other things for a while (good things, ministry things, but not preaching things).

I finished the sermon—quite an emotional and difficult one for me—and, after the service, was greeting people and then doing whatever else needs to be done at the close of a service. Very suddenly, and very unexpectedly, I was faced with a temptation to sin—to commit a sin to which I am particularly prone. I will not tell you what that sin is because I fear it would detract from what I am writing here. It could be envy or lust or fear of man or idolatry or any of the sins we find ourselves particularly drawn to. It is a sin for which I have experienced the Lord’s grace so that I am usually able to redirect my heart, at least in the moments that I am eager to honor God. And that is what I did. I saw the temptation to sin and immediately directed my heart to something better.

But then something happened. I don’t even know how this can happen, but in just a brief second, less than a second, a thought flashed through my mind. It was something like this: “Come on now. You’ve finished preaching, so go ahead and indulge. God won’t punish you now.” It stopped me dead in my tracks for a moment. It was an ugly thought and one that somehow seemed extrinisic to me. I truly don’t know where it came from. At least, I don’t think I’ve ever thought that before.

Read the rest of the article.

What if there was a girl?

There sort of is. I’ve taken a wonderful young lady out on several dates in the last month and a half or so. I enjoy being with her and she seems to enjoy being with me. She not only endured watching Metropolis at my house a couple months ago–she actually seemed to like it. (Artsy and fun? Whodathunkit??)

I want to do right by her. I want to see if my affections continue to grow. She loves Jesus, is really smart, sensitive, sassy, and seems to be able to shoulder my opinionatedness. (I don’t think that’s a word, but if the Germans can take a bunch of words or word parts and string them together, I can too.)

I got a text message from a good friend of mine who has liked me for a very long time. I’d lay odds he is waiting around for my theology to change so he can date me. I told him that I was dating a girl and that I needed to explore this relationship. The response I received was something along the lines of we both know how this will turn out. I replied, Do we? I’ve been in love with a girl before…why not again? I didn’t get a response. I’m not here to psychologize why I did or didn’t get a reply to that; instead, I’m here to say that I’m getting some push-back from my gay friends now that I’m considering seriously dating a girl.

Why have music education in a Christian school?

The following is a text of a short address I gave for the Grandparent’s Welcome convocation at the school for which I work. I’m a first-year faculty member and a third-year teacher. I teach Pre-K thru 5th grade this semester and will add 6th grade next semester (just to give you some context for what I do).

The mission verse for the school this year is Proverbs 20:11 and I wrote a song using the text (NIV of 1984) to help the students internalize it. When I finished the address, the students stood up, faced their grandparents and sang the verse, accompanied by another faculty member.

Absenteeism

I know I’ve been an absent presence on the internet. I’m working four jobs and doing school full time. But I did manage to get a post up over at the Dead Pastors’ Society blog, so go check it out.

New blog

I have begun blogging over at the Dead Pastors Society Blog. I blog over there with John Downey, Jay Miklovic (my favorite Methodist!), and Aaron Gardner. Please pray for us as we try to represent the Gospel to the blogosphere in a direct and winsome way.

And, as always, you can follow me on Twitter.

Come visit!