I don’t always know whether or not at 29 if I’ve suffered “enough” to write about suffering and the Gospel. At the recommendation of several people (including one of the board members at the school which voted to have me resign), I am reading some Henri Nouwen on my Kindle. In his book, Turning My Mourning Into Dancing, he writes:
Suffering invites us to place our hurts in larger hands. In Christ we see God suffering-for us. And calling us to share in God’s suffering love for a hurting world. The small and even overpowering pains of our lives are intimately connected with the greater pains of Christ. Our daily sorrows are anchored in a greater sorrow and therefore a larger hope. Absolutely nothing in our lives lies outside the realm of God’s judgment and mercy.
Our sorrows spring from the sorrow that is in the world because it’s messed up. But the hope the Gospel gives is far bigger than the sorrow we face, because Christ Himself, as conqueror and sacrifice, is bigger than the sorrow.
There is a lot of sorrow for me right now. I’ve spent a great deal of time today working on liturgies for various services at my church, writing arrangements, selecting confessions of sin and assurances of pardon, and getting a feel for the overall scope of the services. But I want to be at school with the kids.
God will judge what has been done. God will also show mercy in what has been done. This isn’t just Nouwen’s conclusion; it’s the conclusion which Paul saw at the end of his life when he wrote that “there is in store for me a crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous Judge will award” and which John longs for at the end of his Revelation when he prays, “Come, Lord Jesus.”
Interesting that you were directed to read this upon leaving something you loved. It’s almost as the message to you was, “suffer the little children” or basically, keep your personal thoughts to yourself if you want to work with children.
Well, it’s sad that you couldn’t be treated as the adult you are regarding this situation. Children do not want us to keep information from them. When this is known, they begin to distrust, and then how effective are we then?
Althought this experience was difficult for you, don’t allow it to change who you are; an honest person willing to discuss relevant and challenging issues with others.
To clarify, I wasn’t directed to read ‘this’ per se…one of the very kind older ladies on the board directed me to Nouwen as an author.
And I won’t let it change me.
In his book “Drops like Stars” Rob Bell describes how suffering unites. Pain and ache create a bond that transcends whatever differences people have.
When I read your blog I can relate. I empathize. I feel your pain.
So I want to encourage you because people like me who have never met you are moved and inspired by your story. I pray that you will find peace and comfort in God and will let Him carry you through this particular situation.
Nouwen is the best writer I’ve read on suffering, relationship, and loneliness. He encapsulates both the struggle and the meaning behind it better than anyone out there.