Encouragement from God and Others

Tags

calling, depression, encouragement, friendship, homosexuality, insecurity, loneliness, relationships

Quick thought:

I was hanging out with single folks from my seminary the other day for dinner and dessert. We were discussing how difficult it is to get a job in the PCA and EPC if you are single…and I chimed in, “Yeah…but because I’m gay, I’ve got two strikes against me.”

Immediately, my phone beeped. This is the text message I received:

Hey brother, been thinking about you a ton lately. I think God is going to use you to do things you can’t even imagine for the glory of his name. Praying for you and the work He has laid out for you to do, work we don’t even know yet. Love you.

Complicated Relationships

Tags

ministry, relationships

Relationships are, for me, complicated. It’s not a complication I retreat from…not as a bona fide extrovert. No, no…relationships are the lifeblood of my existence. I’d sooner do without air than friends. It’d be less painful.

Presumption? Despair?

Tags

depression, despair, homosexuality, hope, reparative therapy

Wesley Hill has written a great article over at the First Things blog. One of my favorite moments of the article is this:

This is what bothers me about what I hear from certain kinds of reparative therapies: offering hope to gay people seems to amount to a prediction of orientation change (assuming the correct regimen is followed). And whenever a Christian expresses doubt about the surety of that prediction, the response can often take the form of, ‘Well, you just don’t have enough faith.’ (Or as a licensed professional counselor, a Christian with a certain angle on reparative therapy, once said to me, ‘That sounds like depression.’)

Yeah…something like that.

Check it out.

The Changing of the Weather

Tags

depression, emotions, mourning

I wrote this short post back on Jan. 30th, but never posted it for some reason. Decided I’d post it now, mostly because I have been thinking again about things I haven’t taken the time to mourn. Today isn’t overcast…it’s sunny and chilly. And yet, I still feel down.

It’s truly amazing how much difference three days can make. Two days ago, it was sunny at 61 at 11 am. Yesterday, it was in the low 70s and overcast. Today, it’s snowing off and on and below freezing. I grew up here, so you’d think I’d be used to it. The adage is true: if you don’t like the weather in the midwest, wait five minutes: it’ll change.

Something else I do…

When I’m not doing homework or blogging at this site, I have begun writing reviews at ZekeFilm. Both posts are reviews of Erich von Stroheim films: Foolish Wives and The Merry Widow. I really enjoy and collect silent film, so give it a look if you’re so inclined!

 

Director and Man You Love to Hate

 

“You’ll Make a Good Pastor.”

Tags

depression, encouragement, loneliness, prayer

This morning, I woke up after having stayed up way too late with two friends of mine…one Catholic and the other Baptist…talking about theology and liturgy (and of course, Mary). I had a headache, but I pulled my prayer book (the one I just recently purchased from CPO in Springfield, MO…published by Concordia) out and prayed one of the prayers for Sunday morning.

I dragged myself to church this morning. I was feeling really low. I literally sat at my desk at 11:20 (5 min. after church had started, 10 min. away), and thought, “What’s the use?”

And Death Shall Have No Dominion

Tags

death, eschatology, hope, poetry, sin, theology

Dylan Thomas

This morning, as I study for my Hebrew exam, I was taking a short break and flipping through a book that a friend bought me for Christmas a couple of years ago. Dylan Thomas is one of his favorite poets and I think he’ll become one of mine before too much longer.

I must admit that poetry is a language which is, despite my being a composer, continually foreign to me. I’m much more at home in the language of the textbook or other prose; and yet, as a musician, poetry calls to me. This poem certainly did.

Reflections on year 3, semester 1 of Seminary

As in all things, I supposed, there was a great deal of frustration and heartache, coupled with joy and being overwhelmed with the goodness of God.

Regardless of my final grade in one class in particular, the professor was extremely kind to me and understanding when I was simply too overwhelmed to be of much good.

I lost a friend that I loved. He was 40. I lost a second friend who was only 31. I had the realization that I will probably have many years ahead of me where friends will die before me and then after me.

I found a job that I really like and people I really like to work with.

I’ve struggled to feel loved and to know God’s love for me apart from what I do for him. Like most guys, I struggle with knowing who I am apart from what I do. I don’t have all the answers, but I think I’m on the right track.

Come, Lord Jesus. Visit me this Advent.

Inheritance?

Tags

family, gay gene, research, science, sexuality, temptation

A new study from a researcher at the University of Tennessee suggests that homosexuality may be transmitted genetically, though there is no evidence for a single ‘gay gene:’ Homosexuality May Be Inherited (video and story).

Does this bother anyone?

A Brief Update

Tags

homosexuality, marriage, school

It’s finals time. My goal is to have all of them done by Thursday afternoon so that I can cook and clean for a house guest that will be here for the weekend, so after the end of the semester, I’ll have some new material up on the blog.

Also, I saw this article by Kevin DeYoung and wanted to pass it along.

But, in the meantime…

Yep.